I am homesick today for the first time. Today had the potential to be good like every other day has been. But upon leaving my class this morning (we have class this weekend to make up for some of our vacation time next week), I discovered that someone had stolen my bike. I am almost a hundred percent sure that it was locked up but the lock simply goes between the spokes of the rear tire and so it can be easily carried away. Or perhaps the lock was not in completely. Either way, I am now, again, without a bike and $50 down. I want to be angry and scream but really there is nothing for me to do about it. Still it has made me homesick—for America, for my family, for New York City’s public transportation system, for my car in Connecticut. I know that bikes get stolen in the US—Matt certainly knows this—but somehow it has all just made me miss home.
I have been lucky though; I have been here over a month and it is just now that I am having my first bout of homesickness. I guess it is to be expected. I got cheese and butter yesterday. My excitement was like that of a five year old on Christmas morning. But today that excitement has gone and I really just miss the comforts of home and having my family near by. It’s not so much even missing my family as it missing the possibility that I could see them easily or even at all if I wanted to. Right now all I want to do is to take a long shower and have a good cry, to put this day behind me and move on but hot water doesn’t come on for another two hours; and so I am left to sit and reflect over the day.
I came to China excited for the many adventures I would have and despite my homesickness I still am excited. I leave for five days in Shanghai on Monday and I am hopeful that an international city of its size will satisfy my need for a taste of the west. But though I came to China in part to explore, I have found myself craving the stability and familiarity of home. Perhaps I am not the adventurer that I once thought I was.
I don’t want to leave you all thinking that I am miserable. Really, I am not even sad, just nostalgic I guess. Bikes are not that expensive. Tomorrow will be another day. Next week will be another wonderful experience, and I truly feel blessed to be able to spend this year in China.
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aww i'm sorry to hear about your bike. things like that would get me homesick too. It reminds of when I tried to get my cell phone fixed here in Barcelona and I went to 4 different stores and they were annoyed that I didn't speak correctly and I had trouble explaining my problem and kept sending me to different stores that had people that were increasingly annoyed at my lack of Spanish. It makes you feel so small when something thinks you're stupid and incompetent. Those things make me miss home, because in NY, i could've gotten it fixed the first try. It's annoying, but it's all a learning process. =D
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